Acceptance: a Practical Tool for Calm
Every now and then, a concept comes along that doesn’t necessarily introduce something new, but instead deepens something we already know — something we may have felt for a long time, but not fully allowed ourselves to sit with.
For me, this month, that has been acceptance.
April often carries a sense of transition. The days begin to stretch, the light changes, and there is a quiet sense that things are moving forward again. But this year, that feeling has been different.
Less about movement, and more about allowing.
Allowing things to be as they are, without immediately trying to reshape them. Without needing to understand everything, fix everything, or bring it to resolution straight away.
Because often, the discomfort we feel is not only about what is happening.
It comes from the mind not being able to switch off.
When Your Mind Keeps Going and Your Body Can’t Fully Settle
Many people recognise this pattern, even if they don’t always name it. The constant thinking, replaying conversations, trying to make sense of something, wishing things had gone differently. On the surface, it feels like a mental process — something contained within the mind.
But the body does not experience it that way.
From a physiological perspective, repetitive thinking can act as a form of ongoing stress signalling. The nervous system does not clearly distinguish between what is happening externally and what is being replayed internally. It simply registers that something remains unresolved.
And so, it stays alert.
This can be subtle at first. A sense of tension that does not fully leave. Difficulty switching off at night. A tightness in the chest, or breathing that never quite drops into ease. Changes in digestion, appetite, or energy that are difficult to explain. A feeling of being both tired and wired at the same time.
Even when nothing is actively wrong, the body can remain in a state of quiet vigilance.
Over time, this ongoing activation can influence the stress response. Cortisol levels remain elevated, the autonomic nervous system leans toward a more sympathetic, protective state, and the body has less opportunity to rest and repair (McEwen, 2007).
Why Trying to Fix Everything Can Keep You Stuck
The natural response to this discomfort is to try and resolve it. To think more, understand more, find clarity, reach a conclusion.
But this effort, when it becomes continuous, can keep the system engaged in the very state it is trying to move out of.
The mind continues to search for resolution, and the body continues to receive the message that something is not quite settled.
And so the loop continues.
It is not necessarily the situation itself that is keeping the stress response active — but the ongoing internal engagement with it.
What Changes When You Stop Resisting What Is Happening
Acceptance, in this context, is not about agreement with what is happening, nor is it a form of giving up.
It is a shift in the way the experience is being held.
It is the moment where the internal dialogue softens, even slightly. Where the resistance to what is happening begins to ease.
The moment the signal changes from “this shouldn’t be happening” to “this is what is happening.”
From a nervous system perspective, this is not a small shift. It changes the way the body interprets the situation. When the system no longer perceives ongoing resistance, it no longer needs to maintain the same level of alert.
The parasympathetic branch of the nervous system — particularly pathways associated with safety and connection — begins to re-engage (Porges, 2011). Breathing deepens almost without effort. Muscle tension softens. The mind, while still active, becomes less intense.
There is space again.
From Overwhelm to Capacity: Feeling More Like Yourself Again
What follows is often not immediate relief, but a gradual change in capacity.
Thoughts may still be present, but they carry less weight. Emotions move more freely. There is less urgency to act, to fix, or to control. The brain, no longer under the same level of stress activation, regains access to functions related to regulation, perspective and decision-making.
People often describe this as feeling more like themselves again.
Not because circumstances have changed, but because their internal state has.
Acceptance does not remove difficulty, but it changes the conditions in which that difficulty is experienced. And in doing so, it reduces the physiological load the body is carrying.
Small Shifts That Help the Body Come Back to Balance
This shift often shows up in very simple ways.
There is less pressure to do things perfectly. Meals become about what feels supportive, rather than what is ideal. Rest becomes something that is allowed, rather than something that needs to be earned. Time outside, even briefly, begins to feel restorative again. Small pauses start to exist without the need to fill them.
These are not dramatic changes, but they begin to alter the internal environment in which the body is functioning.
Why Acceptance Supports Both Mental and Physical Health
Within a holistic view of health, the state of the nervous system plays a central role in how we feel.
Chronic activation can influence mood, digestion, immune function and energy levels. It can make everything feel more effortful, more overwhelming, more difficult to process.
Acceptance offers a way to reduce that baseline level of activation.
Not by introducing something new, but by removing the layer of resistance that keeps the system engaged.
Over time, this allows the body to shift toward regulation more consistently (Sapolsky, 2004).
Practising Acceptance in Real Life
Putting this into practice starts with noticing where you are resisting what is happening.
That moment when the mind says “this shouldn’t be happening”, or keeps trying to replay, fix, or change something that has already happened.
Acceptance is not about agreeing with it.
It is about gently shifting into:
“This is where I am right now.”
In practice, that can look like:
noticing when you are mentally replaying something, and gently naming it: “I’m in the loop again”
catching the thought “this shouldn’t be happening” and softening it into “this is what is happening”
allowing a feeling (frustration, sadness, tension) to be there without trying to resolve it immediately
pausing for a breath instead of continuing to analyse or fix
bringing your attention back to something simple and present — a meal, a walk, a conversation — not to distract, but to anchor
observing tension in the body without needing to release it straight away
These are small shifts, but they begin to change the signal the body receives.
From “something is wrong” to “I can be with this.”
And that is often where the nervous system starts to settle.
How Nutrition Can Support You as You Practise Acceptance
Food can either add to that internal pressure, or help soften it.
When the body is under stress, keeping meals simple and steady can support regulation without adding another layer of decision-making or expectation.
In practice, this can look like:
choosing warm, cooked meals that are easier to digest
including protein (eggs, fish, chicken, legumes) to stabilise energy
adding healthy fats (olive oil, butter, avocado) for satiety
including gentle carbohydrates (rice, potatoes, oats) for consistent fuel
repeating simple, familiar meals rather than overthinking choices
These choices help create a sense of predictability.
And for the nervous system, predictability is safety.
For some, these shifts come naturally over time. For others, having guidance can make the process clearer and more supportive. Working with a nutritional therapist can help you build that steadiness in a more personalised way — using food, rhythm and lifestyle to support both the body and the way you respond to stress, without adding more pressure.
With you, one fika at a time,
Daniela | Nutrifika
References
McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation. Physiological Reviews.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.
Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers.
Brosschot, J. F., Gerin, W., & Thayer, J. F. (2006). The perseverative cognition hypothesis: A review of worry and prolonged stress-related physiological activation. Journal of Psychosomatic Research.
Ottaviani, C., et al. (2016). Brain–heart pathways linking negative emotion and health: The role of rumination. Psychological Bulletin.
